I am a big fan of the portmanteau. And who isn’t? This literary device has brought us amazing words like: brunch, cosplay, hazmat, Brangelina, mockumentary, Sharknado, and affluenza. So, I’m not here to be the Language Police. I love having fun with language. I’m not a killjoy or a prude or worried about “the kids these days” or any other such thing. I’m expressing MY reasons for resisting the temptation to portmanteau (can that be a verb? Huh. It is now) the word orgasm; as in foodgasm, nerdgasm, eargasm, shoegasm…
I GET it. I think they are funny, too. It really expresses how crazy passionate I am about food…or geek stuff, or music, or shoes. And it makes me sound super confident to say the word orgasm so freely in otherwise mixed company. But just like the overuse of the one-and-only English word for LOVE (which means the same exact thing as how we feel about our mom, our partner, our children, our dog, our favorite kind of cake, our comfiest socks, or that Russian Guy on Dancing With The Stars) there are some things that I want to retain the power of. Orgasm is one of those things.
Orgasms—like the complex emotions of love– are a powerful tool for healing and transformation in the human body. Here and here and here are some articles that tell you more about that. Sexpert (another portmanteau that I am just peachy keen with) Kim Anami has this to say about the power orgasm has to revolutionize our lives:
An orgasm can be a brief, few seconds of pelvic contractions. Or it can transform you….orgasms [are] one of the most powerful and effective personal growth tools we have access to. And they’re free. They’re portable…If your orgasms are anything less than monumental, energizing, rejuvenating and massively pleasurable, you’re doing them wrong. Just like your intimate relationship: if it isn’t your source of sanctuary, pleasure and revitalization, something is wrong….Your bed and relationship is the arena in which you can transform and alchemize all the disparate parts of yourself. When you learn how to use the power of sexual love in your life, anything is possible…The most powerful use of our partnerships—and orgasms—is as vessels for transformation. We destroy our false parts and grow our true ones.
But our culture has turned orgasm into a product…not a sacred and spiritual awakening. We can buy an orgasm with a few clicks of a mouse in the form of porn. We don’t have to put any of our heart or soul on the line. We can even approximate one–evidently– in the act of eating some cake, or buying a pair of shoes, or clicking on the iTunes App. And I’m not saying those things AREN’T wonderful and don’t bring us joy and produce some awesome healing chemicals and neurotransmitters. I’m only saying that we shouldn’t further cheapen and dampen the power of our actual real orgasms (with ourselves or with a partner). Porn, cake, shoes, and gadgets all have the same thing in common: we get to consume them and enjoy them without much effort. They will never transform our soul. We let our culture shovel the happiness directly into our bodies rather than having to reach for it. We don’t have to trust, or be vulnerable, or be authentic, or release any of our demons in order to enjoy a foodgasm no matter how much “food baggage” we have. But giving yourself permission to surrender to an incredibly deep, rich, soul-expanding sexual experience? That isn’t a “brief, few seconds of pelvic contractions” but a bonafide “monumental, energizing, rejuvenating, and massively pleasurable” orgasm? That takes work. And Trust. And Self Love. And if you are NOT having those kinds of orgasms regularly, then read THIS article and then contact me so Kathryn and I can get your signed up for a Rediscovering the Feminine Mysteries class here in Erie PA.
Whatever I feel for my favorite white wine or the show Outlander is NOT even in the same universe as what I feel for my partner and my children: love. So I’m thinking of other ways to express my love of things that I really, really, super duper like a whole lot. My vocabulary is (hopefully) bigger than just wearing out the words love and orgasm to express every passionate feeling I have. I’m pretty sure I can geek out on something (like these or these) without suggesting that it is on a level playing field with the Soul-Altering experience of a full body orgasm. I think you can, too. I won’t be judging you or scolding you if I catch you saying them…but I will probably secretly wonder if you are having the kind of orgasms you should be