After having a pretty crappy week in which I did a lot of complaining about things that were not going well (post office debacle, too much snow, feverish toddlers, hubby’s who work too much, a belly that is still smooshy) I decided that what I needed was a bit of perspective. And here it is:
1) The Planet Wise Wet/Dry Bag does not suck!
2) The delivery guy from Hungry Howies did not suck!
3) The new coffee Sir Hubby bought did not suck!
4) The Vegetarian Times does not suck!
5) Thirsties diaper covers do not suck!
6) Home made ginger, lemon, sugar and olive oil body scrub does not suck!
7) Keri Moore’s Vacuum does not suck!
8 ) The film, Sunshine Cleaners, does not suck!
9) D, L & E do not suck! (and are very generous people)
10) The store, Recycled Memories in Kane PA, does not suck!
11) Postpartum doula’s do not suck!
12) The Wal-Mart Photo center does not suck!
13) Making wallets out of orange juice cartons does not suck!
14) Using Brain Quest Workbooks for homeschool does not suck!
15) Aqua Gems do not suck!
16) Kelley and Kevin’s ‘Congratulations’ card does not suck!
17) Amber teething necklaces do not suck!
18) His Holiness the Dalai Lama talking about the nature of forgiveness does not suck!
19) The pilot for Caprica did not suck!
20) Lalzo’s smiles do not suck!
21) Mathilda’s vocabulary does not suck!
22) Eudora’s imagination does not suck!
23) Ella’s sense of compassion does not suck!
24) Brent’s cocky little smirk does not suck!
25) On the whole, life is pretty good and does not suck!
Posted 1 week, 4 days ago at 7:43 pm. Add a comment
Erie Times Announcement
I am sure that it would come as no surprise to anyone to hear that our family doesn’t usually read the newspaper. Reading the news online just seems so much easier these days. It is greener. No stacks of newspapers to store until recycling day. I can choose what kinds of news (regional, national, international, politics, health…) I want to read and just skip over the stuff that doesn’t interest me (sports, comics, obituaries…) So why would we care about going through all of the steps to make sure that our birth was listed in the newspaper?
Well, frankly, let me just say that I am a bit ashamed that we don’t read the newspaper. I think that our children could probably benefit from seeing us reading it and become inspired to read it themselves. Finding creative ways to reuse the newspaper seems like something our kiddos would be into as well…we just saw a PBS special in which grade school kids made a fairly complex engineering project with newspapers and masking tape. Not to mention the glass cleaning properties or using it to stuff into wet boots in the winter. But I digress.
I was inspired by a friend of mine who had her homebirth announcement printed in the newspaper almost 2 years ago. It is assumed that a hospital birth will be printed in the paper. As a matter of fact, in 2003, when I had Bug, we had to choose to opt out of it while we were still at the hospital or else the information was going to be sent automatically when we were discharged. So earlier this month, when I called the newspaper about printing our birth announcement, the employee I was speaking to was very confused as to why the head nurse had not given me the form when I was discharged from the hospital even though I had already explained that we had our baby at home. Homebirth was just so far off of her radar that it took hearing it several times before she could understand what I meant. And even then, without the forms from the hospital she had no idea how to proceed with the information. It took a week of phone calls, emails and messages between our midwife, the newspaper and me to make it happen. It really struck me at that point: as normal and healthy as homebirth seemed to me, my family, and my circle of friends, the majority of the population still had almost no clue that it even existed! It is so easy to forget that it has taken me two decades, five babies, a dozen trainings and workshops, hundreds of books and videos, and thousands of websites and blogs to get to this place and that many people have never done more than take a hospital-sponsored childbirth preparation course.
So, did I place our announcement in the newspaper because I want all of our friends and family here in town to clip our announcement and glue it into a scrapbook next to a picture of our Little Chief? No. I did it to create a place in the newspaper where homebirthing families can choose to announce their birth right alongside hospital births. I did it so that all of the people who read the newspaper today will get to see the words Home Birth and perhaps have it infiltrate their subconscious so that it doesn’t sound as odd, or crazy, or irresponsible, or impossible, or as confusing as they thought it was yesterday. I did it so that we can publicly proclaim that homebirth is a safe and valid alternative to birthing in the hospital and deserves the same recognition. When a hosptial birth is printed, we have no idea what the circumstances of that particular birth were. However, when a homebirth is printed, there are certain assumptions that can be made about what the birth was not: we can count it as one more birth that was not surgical, medicated, or induced. It is one more piece of evidence that proves how safe birth can and should be.
I know that many fellow homebirthers tend to live a little off the grid, and like me, aren’t that tuned in to mainstream rituals, like reading birth announcements in the newspaper. I’m so very proud of how wonderfully healthy and happy our two homebirths have been and see no reason to keep it a secret. If we want more families to learn about all of their birthing options, then we have to be more willing to put our personal stories out there for others to learn from. I hope that more families will join me in making the Home Birth section of the birth announcements a regular part of our newspaper. As my friend, Bob (a devoted Daddy to a homebirthed babe) pointed out to me today, “the newspaper (any newspaper) is, to a degree, the official historical record of everything that happens in the town in which it is published,” and if we want history to be accurately recorded, then we owe it to ourselves and to our grandchildren to put homebirth front and center. Please contact me if you would like more information on who to contact if you would like to announce your homebirth in the paper, too!
Posted 1 month, 1 week ago at 12:05 am. 4 comments
Following the Principles: Parts 7 & 8 in a series of 8
Baby Lazlo~ 1/6/10 ~ 11lbs~ 23"long ~ Born Safely at Home!
Now that we have finally welcomed our newest addition— an 11lb son named Lazlo who was born safely at our home — I can take the time to sit down and write again. The swelling and the restlessness of late pregnancy made computer time just one more form of torture in a sea of physical discomforts. Fortunately, those discomforts are behind me now (although I vow to never, ever forget the challenges of the third trimester, just in case I am ever stricken with Baby Fever again years from now) and my recovery has been a joyous time of healing, snuggling, nursing and marveling. Well…for the most part.
Our first tandem nursing session a few minutes after Lazlo's birth.
There, of course, is my sweet little 22-month-old T-Bird to deal with. While she is thrilled that there is breastmilk on the menu again, she is not as enthusiastic about her new little brother trying to enjoy that milk–with or without her. Nursing them together is a terrific way to get a worry-free 20-minute power-nap, but can also backfire and result in T-Bird’s numerous attempts to unlatch the baby, to poke him the eye, to cover his face with a blanket, to elbow him… fun times. So then, I will go with the other extreme and nurse T-Bird first, or nurse her in another room, or nurse her after I get Lazlo to sleep. She then proceeds to spend that time constantly unlatching and relatching asking “Where’s Lazlo? Baby wants nursie?” while pulling, scratching and patting the unoccupied breast…more fun times. Not to mention the all-new behaviors when we are not nursing—throwing, hitting, screeching, drawing on walls, stomping food into the carpets. Continue Reading…
Posted 1 month, 3 weeks ago at 9:29 pm. 2 comments
 Sir Hubby helps me to relax using our Hypnobabies techniques... |
 Jill & Sir Hubby check on Lazlo with the Doppler. He is such a strong, healthy boy and has perfect heart tones the entire time! |
 They have to get really, really low to find good heart tones since the baby is so close to being on the outside! |
 THIS moment would have never been possible without the love, faith, and unwavering belief of my birth team. They never doubted me for a minute...even when I was convinced I couldn't do it! |
 T-Bird is very ready to be reacquainted with her favorite na-na's while Sir Hubby meets his brand new son. |
 I have the feeling that this is going to be a fairly common sight around our house for some time to come ♥ |
Posted 1 month, 3 weeks ago at 10:08 pm. 3 comments
Our Beautiful New Son, Lazlo! Born gently at home on 1/6/10 at 9:17pm. 11pounds 23" long!
Posted 2 months ago at 1:12 am. 2 comments
Sometimes it is best to just not ask too many questions...
An anvil?
We are not big on Christmas. First of all, we just don’t have the resources to pull it off. Secondly, while we celebrate the love of family, giving, kindness, etc… all of the time, we are not always in a position to mark a super special day of celebration on a calendar and stick to it. Sometimes, we have more to give to ourselves and to others in let’s say…the spring. We like being flexible about this sort of thing. And finally, without the religious part of the holiday it is just something we are not on board with value-wise. But we still do the occasional thing or two if we can afford it, and we feel like it adds to the love in our family, etc…
So, inevitably, every year we ask Bug what she would want to get from someone like Santa if Santa were so inclined to bring a present to our home. And every year she totally blows us away with her simple, heartfelt requests. One year she simply asked for a yo-yo. Another year, she requested a small wooden wind up toy. Last year, she wanted some nuts and bolts so she could pretend to put things together. How could we deny such humble gifts? So every year, she has received these simple things and treasures them. Continue Reading…
Posted 2 months, 2 weeks ago at 12:32 am. Add a comment
Following the Principles, Part 6 of a series of 8: As we enter the last few (days? weeks?) of our pregnancy with LF#5, I have to admit that one of my biggest, most gigantic fears about having two nurslings under the age of two is “how will I EVER find a sitter for two completely attached, nursing babies AND my high-needs 6 year old???” Not that we have a need to spend a ton of time away from our kids, but having the option for some time together every few months seems like a marriage saving idea!
In the past, with the wide age spacing of the older children, it was really never a big deal. Everyone was always happy to have the older, experienced “helper” tag along to provide invaluable care-giving advice: “Oh, that cry means she wants her blankie! or “By this time, Mom always puts her in the sling!” And even when Bug came along with her higher-needs personality, we had my parents nearby to help out when she was very tiny, and after we moved further away, she had her own personal favorite nanny to provide loving care when she was a toddler. When T-Bird arrived and I had to return to work much sooner than I would have liked, we got creative and rearranged our work schedule to ensure that either Sir Hubby or I could always take care of her (and yes, that’s our picture on page 189 of Attached at the Heart!)
Since moving away from my parents, our beloved nanny, and my flexible job, I have been a full-time homeschooler, stay-at-home-parent and very tired pregnant lady! But being at home has also allowed me to forge many wonderful friendships in our new hometown. I adore that we share so many of the same parenting values with our new circle of friends. But, like me, they also have very full lives and busy families. We can get together and have playgroups, and homeschool groups, and ladies nights…but leaving T-Bird with someone other than Sir Hubby or Big Sister Ella has not been territory that I have delved into yet. Continue Reading…
Posted 3 months, 1 week ago at 2:45 pm. 1 comment
 Suspicious about being out of the house so early and being offered toys instead of breakfast... |
 They gave her "Silly Juice" which made her all giggly and dopey. I hate to admit that it was adorable. |
 As promised, she will get to wake up in my arms...a zero trauma event for her |
 They did not insert the IV until after she was under...but she sure noticed it as soon as she came to! |
 A little swelling gives her a puffy pout |
 Poppa Larry reads T-Bird a story while she checks out her sore lip |
Posted 4 months, 3 weeks ago at 6:56 pm. 1 comment
Following The Principles: Part 5 of a series of 8: I did not expect the arrival of my first baby to create so much upheaval in my bedroom. There was no room for a “nursery” so by default we became co-sleepers. The room would have never won any awards for decorating to begin with, but after the baby it became a minefield of clothes, blankets, stuffed animals, toys, wipes, baby nail clippers, bulb syringes, diapers, and little mismatched baby socks.
My Dream Bedroom
After firstborn moved into his own room at about two and half years, we spent joyous hours creating HIS space with all of HIS favorite things. It was then that I made a vow to create a special place for me to relax and recharge. I fantasized about my ideal bedroom…my haven. I knew one day I would have the resources to make that happen! Continue Reading…
Posted 4 months, 4 weeks ago at 5:24 pm. Add a comment
Following the Principles: Use Nurturing Touch, Part 4 of a series of 8: Carrying our little LF#5 in my body is the ultimate in nurturing touch. A tiny body wrapped up inside of mine. Bouncing. Rolling. Rocking. Swaying. Swirling. Surrounded by warmth. We are planning another gentle homebirth for our new little one in which only loving hands will touch him/her. We will enjoy our Babymoon as long as we can, remaining in bed and nursing for 2-3 weeks while my body heals. Of course we have made preparations (as much as anyone can prepare for the unknown at any rate) in case of an emergency need to transfer our care to a hospital and are prepared to do whatever it takes to make even the most medicalized situation a high-touch, high-compassion one. No matter what happens with our pregnancy and birth, we know that we are committed to our attached and connected parenting principles. We trust that our new baby will be lovingly connected to our family even if that means finding new ways to apply the attachment parenting principles to whatever circumstances LF#5 is welcomed into the world under.
A Rare Moment: Everyone together! T-Bird, Sir Hubby, Bug, Brent, Ella
But what about the rest of us? We are already dealing with situations which are challenging our ability to stay connected. It seems as if the past few months could be defined by one word: Distance. Distance keeps our family apart while Sir Hubby attempts to balance his business, his father’s health, and our family. Distance has my son several hours away at college. Our older girls are both at ages where they are pulling away (in healthy ways) to explore independence, self-directed learning, and social pursuits without holding our hands. But the biggest distance I feel is the one between my little T-Bird and I. Continue Reading…
Posted 5 months, 2 weeks ago at 5:46 am. Add a comment